Arsenal 3 Aston Villa 0: The Consistent Run Continues As Others Drop Points
For the first time since dinosaurs walked the Earth, I intentionally wore a blue shirt to a pub to watch Chelshit take on 5pur2. I was actually surrounded by folks wearing Samsung jerseys and they actually thought that I gave two hoots about their team. After dozing seriously for a large chunk of the game, I sprang back to life when Rafael van der Fart made two quick-fire efforts that were blocked by James Blunt’s clone on a Rugby head gear and Ca$hley Cuntly Cole respectively.
The boring stalemate ensured that a win for Arsenal would see them go three points off Tottenham and eight points clear of Chelsea. Arsenal was hosting an obdurate side managed by a shrunken, withered, sunburnt testicle. In the warm-up to the game, Laurent Koscielny suffered a knee injury and was replaced by Johan Djourou.
Djourou was quickly involved in the thick of things as he suffered a gashed nose following an elbow from Emile Heskey. I have a hunch that Heskey learnt about that video dedicated to his misses so he decided to take out his frustrations on poor ol’ Djourou.
Aston Villa drew first blood when Andrey Arshavin’s long lost clone, Marc Albrighton broke clear on the right from a counter attack he launched only to kill a bird in the sky instead of teeing up a team mate. Arsenal responded in grand style when Bacary Sagna and Theo Walcott showed good movement on the right to set up Robin van Persie who in turn supplied a brilliant back heel for Walcott. The Englishman’s effort was saved by Shay Given but Sagna’s follow up was atrocious to say the least.
The match’s opener arrived from an unlikely source. The imperious Tomas Rosicky found Gervinho that dallied on the ball a bit before feeding Kieran Gibbs.The young full back fashioned a chance for himself and drilled his effort that squeezed through Given’s body to put Arsenal one up. It’s worth noting that the goal broke his Premier League duck for his team.
Thomas Vermaelen sent a cross-field ball to the right releasing Walcott, whose first touch was magnificent but Carlos Cuellar executed a sliding challenge to see off the threat that attack posed. Walcott wasn’t to be denied a second time as he controlled another sublime pass from Alex Song superbly before slotting the ball past the hapless Given.
Mikel Arteta was free on the edge of the area so he sent in a piledriver that was saved by Given. The last noteworthy highlight belonged to van Persie. He received a through ball from Song but he was challenged by James Collins. Van Persie managed to get to the ball and he showed off his great technique to make mince meat of Collins and Given but Stephen Warnock was on hand to block his goal bound effort.
Arsenal took its feet off the pedal in the second half but the spirits were lifted again when the red-hot Rosicky made some sleek runs before drilling an effort that was saved by Given. Aaron Ramsey came on for Le Forehead while Andre Santos came on for Gibbs.
Andre Santos almost started on the wrong foot when he uncharacteristically gave the ball to a Villa player but he wasn’t punished for his tomfoolery. Moments later, Rosicky teed up a pass for Ramsey, the Welshman opened his body up to shimmy a defender before sending his shot wide.
Shortly after Ramsey’s miss, my pal Obitwyce shared this tweet with my Arsenal BlackBerry group:
If Mandela was watching, he'll sure be glad Ramsey missed that.—
على الساحر (@Sirkastiq) March 24, 2012
Walcott was withdrawn for the Ox and the game phased out towards its twilight. However, there was a moment when Oxlade-Chamberlain burnt his reserves of pace to fashion a chance for himself, only to be nudged by Stephen Ireland in the box. There were loud claims for a penalty but replays showed that the Baldy got a slight touch of the ball before scything down the Ox.
Late on, Song was fouled on the edge of the area and candidates for the dead ball stepped up with Arteta and Andre Santos seen around the area. Up stepped Arteta to deliver a peach of a goal to make it three:
The ref’s whistle was like music to the ears of the fans as Arsenal continued their surge for third place. The draw between Chelsea and Tottenham has given Arsenal some breathing space before Saturday’s trip to Loftus Road to take on QPR.
Szczesny (6.5) had a very boring day at the office.
Sagna (7.5) worked very hard on the right and provided adequate support for his winger.
Gibbs (8.0) had a great shift and broke his Premier League duck for his club.
Vermaelen (7.5) locked Emile Heskey in a cage and swallowed the keys.
Djourou (7.5) came in Koscielny’s stead and put up a confident performance.
Song (8.5) was a general in midfield and supplied a peach of a pass for Walcott.
Arteta (8.0) scored an incredible belter.
Rosicky (8.5) put up an ‘orgasmic’ display. Major Sun can attest to that
Walcott (8.5) was a phenom on the right and scored a well-taken goal
Le Forehead (7.0) showed good vision to create the first assist of the game.
Van Persie (7.0) was denied a great goal.
Ramsey (7.0) probably saved another prominent figurehead on Earth with his miss.
Andre Santos (7.0) almost made a ghastly error but grew in confidence as the game progressed.
The Ox (7.0) showed his pace to great effect.
In a game that went down as one for the historians, this was the first time two English players scored for Arsenal in the same match since 1997. The Gunners also equalled their 2007 record with seven straight league wins in a row making them the most in-form team in the Premier League.
Arsene Wenger described the performance as dynamic and fluent.
It’s time to go to church. Don’t forget to put Fabrice Muamba in your prayers.
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