Post-Tottenham Ramblings and Bendtner Arrested

Banana thrown at Bale in the NLD….oh well

With FA Cup action going on this weekend, Arsenal’s crunch fixture against Everton has been postponed till further notice, which also ensures that the Gunners won’t see any football till when they travel to Munich next week Wednesday.

Memories of Sunday’s North London derby is still fresh in my memory and as expected, many Gunners have starting doing the talking off the pitch, when they were silent on it.

Wojciech Szczesny says that the Gunners have to pick themselves up quickly (via Arsenal.com), if they want to secure a top-four finish at the end of the season. He’s also tipping his teammates to do the impossible in Munich but judging from the team’s performances, I wouldn’t put any dime on Arsenal getting a result in Bavaria.

Carl Jenkinson believes that there are many points to play for (via Arsenal.com) while Per Mertesacker wants his teammates to use the break wisely (via Arsenal.com). This has been a very disappointing campaign by our standards, and anything less than a fourth place finish could signal the start of a negative downward spiral as Andre Villas-Boas predicted (via BBC Sport).

Arsene Wenger stated that his team wasn’t efficient where it mattered (via Arsenal.com), and you’d have to review our starting XI to see if some of these folks deserve a place in the team. I don’t know whether it could be attributed to fatigue or what have you, but I feel that it’s high time Laurent Koscielny gets a decent run-out in the team.

In recent times, Lukas Podolski has also been relegated to the bench and the manager knows his reasons for doing it, but every defeat comes hand in hand with some reflections of what could have been done here and there. The game against Bayern is a week away so this rest is highly welcome in my honest opinion.

Elsewhere, there was a bit of racism involved when an Arsenal threw a banana at Gareth Bale (via Yahoo! Sports) but Arsenal has began the hunt for the bloke that committed the offense (via ITV).

Meanwhile in Denmark, the world’s best striker, Nicklas Bendtner, can’t just get away from controversy. When he’s not seen pants down in a club, claiming he can buy a pizzeria or advertising Paddy Power on his undies, he can be seen doing his own version of Grand Theft Auto.

The Dane was loaned to Juventus last summer after stating that he wanted to leave the Emirates for good. He was linked with a host of clubs according to his fagent (father / agent) and no concrete move came to fruition. His time in Italy hasn’t fared so well, with the Italians claiming that he had gotten “fat”.

He has managed to notch up nine appearances thus far but he suffered a thigh injury that required surgery (via the Independent). Bendtner was arrested in Copenhagen for drinking under the influence of alcohol and driving the wrong way up a main road (via Football Italia).

Fortunately, there were no casualties involved.

Bendtner is a player that was tipped for great things and his loan spell with Birmingham City proved how good he could be. The striker was always considered as a back-up to the top dogs in Arsenal, much to his dissatisfaction.

His loan spell at Juventus expires this summer and I’m sure that his future will be reviewed by the manager.

Time to pull the plug in today’s post, I have a meeting in a bit.

Sayonara.

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Robin van Persie, Euro 2012 and other Transfer Speculation

I want France to win tonight….Is it possible? —
Gooner Daily (@goonerdaily) June 23, 2012

The sad smiley on that tweet painted the picture vividly for everyone.

I really like Laurent Blanc and his exciting Les Bleus outfit but a part of me knew that yesterday’s fixture against Spain was the end of the line for that lot. The tactical set-up employed by Blanc at the start of the game was baffling to say the least and no eyebrows were raised when Mathieu Debuchy was left for dead before Jordi Alba’s inch-perfect cross was met by Xabi Alonso, the centurion.

Yohan Cabaye rifled in a free kick from quite some distance but Iker Casillas was on hand to make a good save despite being a peripheral figure all game long. At some point, @mayorbaze asked if he was wearing a swimsuit because he hadn’t seen him for a large chunk of the game.

Franck Ribery was a tireless worker on the flanks but Karim Benzema failed to be on the same wavelength with the elf with a scar. I have a hunch that it was the Barca Effect that took its toll on young Karim. Late on, Revelliere’s clumsiness in the box cost his team dearly, as Xabi Alonso stepped up again to dispatch his spot kick past Hugo Lloris.

The first semifinal will be an Iberian affair and we can only hope for a great game of football. Some credit must go to Vicente del Bosque for his astute tactics that has been more than a handful for teams in the tournament. Despite missing out on a key striker like David Villa, his 4-6-0 tactical set-up with a “false No. 9″ has kept teams on the back foot so far.

If Spain go on to win #Euro2012 playing this way, strikers could well become an endangered species.—
Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 23, 2012

From an Arsenal perspective, Laurent Koscielny deputized for Phillippe Mexes and made a good account of himself. He kept his bearings in check and made some vital interceptions in the course of the game.

The final quarterfinal fixture takes place tonight and I’m bracing myself for a dose of some boring football, but I’ll live. Italy hasn’t lit any fireworks in the competition, but Cesare Prandelli gave the football world a hint on how to contain Spain. It’s unfortunate to know that his fellow football managers failed to follow suit.

The 3-5-2 formation is an innovative tactical outlook that has its pros and cons. However, it clearly works for teams that have the personnel to employ it.

Daniele de Rossi was immense in the game against Spain playing as a libero, and he had Giorgio Chiellini and Leandro Bonucci to offer him protection while he distributed play via his inch-perfect long passes. Christian Maggio and Emmauele Giacherini worked tirelessly as wingbacks while Thiago Motta, Claudio Marchisio and Andrea Pirlo interchanged well in the middle of the park.

It would be interesting to know who starts upfront alongside Antonio Cassano tonight. The veteran striker, Antonio di Natale, has bellied the years in this tournament with a well-taken goal against the defending champions, but the volatile maverick, Mario Balotelli, also staked his claim with the peach of a goal against Ireland.

The celebration of the great goal was quite awkward with Balotelli aiming a barrage of words on the Italian dugout, but Bonucci did the right thing by covering his pile hole. However, the picture of that scenario has taken a new outlook, as shown below.

John Terry, you legend!!!

Moving over to Arsenal news, Robin van Persie has earned a place in the spotlight yet again, with his future being the bone of contention. With Juventus out of the way, fresh reports are emerging that Manchester City are bracing themselves up to make a bid for Arsenal’s talisman, and a swap deal with bad boy, Carlos Tevez, could be on the cards.

The speculation regarding van Persie’s future is rife but a swap deal with a player like Tevez will not be in the club’s best interests. Tevez’ ability on the pitch is unrivaled but his shenanigans off it will be a thorn in Arsenal’s flesh. Besides, he earns a whooping £200,000 per week and I’m pretty sure that a mercenary like Tevez won’t take a pay-cut to play for Arsenal.

There’s also some bullocks of van Persie looking at Chershire properties ahead of the proposed move but its articles like this that gives me pride in calling them “media Vultures”.

However, Arsene Wenger has defended his star striker in the wake of Holland’s shambolic showing the Euros. Like his teammates, van Persie came under serious criticism from the media, as he and his egotistical Dutch folks failed to step up in Group B. Wenger stated that van Persie deserves more credit for his performances because he was Holland’s “best striker”.

Le Boss added:

“Van Persie makes sure that a team plays football. I’ve analysed his performances and if you watch really closely, you will see that he made some brilliant moves and runs.

At crucial stages he didn’t get the ball. On the times he did not score with the chances he had can be put down to fatigue. But he’s the perfect striker.

“If you want to reach a really high level as a team, you must pick Van Persie. He’s an example for every striker. He’s an exceptional football player and more than just a striker.”      

Andrey Arshavin and his Russian teammates have also come under some stick from the Russian hierarchy, as proposals might be put in place to ban star players like Arshavin, Roman Shirokov and Alan Dzagoev from moving to foreign clubs as well as to prevent them from starring in TV ads.

That’s a bit extreme if you ask me.

Russia was knocked out of the competition because of Michel Platini’s indulgence in adding the head to head rule in the Group stages. Even with a loss to Greece, the Russians had a better goal difference but like Sepp Blatter, Platini can’t keep his hands in one place.

I heard that Euro 2016 might have 24 teams.

A fixture between Russia and Germany would have provided a better spectacle but we can’t change what has happened.

Finally, the world’s best striker, Nicklas Bendtner, has been linked with Malaga and we all hope that move materializes because those folks know how to spend some money. I’m pretty sure that Arsenal won’t mind a few quid or two from the greatest striker that ever lived.

For those that care to know, Lionel Messi turns 25 today. He has scored 281 goals, made 70 appearances for Argentina, amassed 21 trophies, 77 individual awards and he currently holds 19 world records.

I’ve stated that Messi came from Krypton with Clark Kent. He has successfully invaded Mother Earth and he’s currently colonizing us.

Where’s Chuck Norris when you need him.

Sayonara.

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Arshavin Stirs Up Controversy and the Pantsgate Saga Continues

Paddy Power…the worst judge since Pontius..

In a somewhat frantic pace, the European Championships has shifted into second gear.

The group stages reached its climax when Wily Ol’ Woy Hodgson’s England took on co-hosts, Ukraine, while Laurent Blanc’s France hoped to continue their impressive international unbeaten record against the group’s whooping boys, Sweden.

France fielded a very strong side and I decided to go on a scouting mission to watch the highly-rated and sought-after Yann M’Vila. From an Arsenal persepective, Laurent Koscielny watched from the dugout yet again, but the stench of Arsenal remained on the pitch with the likes of Gael Clichy, $amir Na$ri and Seb Larsson strutting their stuff.

France had the lion’s share of possession but the Swedes had the better goalscoring chances. Early on, Zlatan Ibrahimovic lofted a through ball over the top that made Phillippe Mexes fall on his back side. Ola Toivonen did well to go round Hugo Lloris but the post came to France’s rescue.

Chances were far-fetched in the first half but Sweden’s skipper and chief conjurer, Zlatan Ibracadabra, sent his homeland and the rest of the football world into raptures with a goal that proved why he needs to be used as the S.I. unit for measuring technique in football.

France pushed on for an equalizer and Arsenal’s newbie, Olivier Giroud, came on in Yann M’Vila’s stead. He almost made an instant impact as he glanced his header wide with his first touch of the game.

It was no different from Nicklas Bendtner’s effort against Tottenham a few years ago, but the only difference was that the world’s best striker scored with his effort while Giroud didn’t.

France’s willingness to push on to level the contest left gaping holes at the back, which allowed Sweden to hit them on the break. A cross from Christian Wilhelmsson was fired goalwards by some bloke that has the same amount of hair with Howard Webb. His effort cannoned off the cross bar but Sebastian Larsson was on hand to slam home the rebound to put the game beyond Les Bleus.

Elsewhere, Steven Gerrard showed off some amazing skill to waltz past his marker before drilling a trademark cross into the heart of Ukraine’s danger area. The goalie, Andriy Pyatov, made a mess of what seemed like a routing save, allowing the ball across the goalmouth, leaving Shrek no choice but to convert the ball from less than a yard out.

There was some much hype surrounding Shrek’s return to the England starting line-up and it was nice to see the lad mark the occasion with a goal, as well as showing off his hair of course.

Out of the eight European nations that have been sent packing, four Gunners have also been present in those squads.

It’s fair to say that Wojciech Szczesny had a premature tournament, Robin van Persie endured a disappointing campaign, Andrey Arshavin was one of the bright sparks in the Russian team that was stunned by the cruel head to head rule while Nicklas Bendtner and his fellow Vikings went down fighting.

Judging from Bendtner’s performances in Euro 2012, he had a great tournament by his standards and he must have attracted a few predators out there, as SL Benfica have reignited their interest in the rangy forward.

Apart from his two well-taken headed goals against Portugal, Bendtner grabbed a place in the back pages for his Paddy Power publicity stunt that earned him a €100,000 fine, as well as a one-match ban, much to the dismay of the bewildered forward.

The folks at UEFA charged him with improper conduct, as he was found guilty of breaking the European governing body’s strict rules against unapproved sponsor advertising on kits.

In response to the feedback received on Twitter in support for Bendtner, Paddy Power has agreed to pay the barmy fine:

“We pride ourselves on listening to our customers and what we heard loud and clear yesterday was that Nicklas Bendtner should not suffer as a result of UEFA’s double standards.

We don’t believe that Nicklas should be penalised for nothing more serious than wearing his lucky underpants which, in fairness, was only a bit of fun.”

The company also sent out a warning to other footballers wearing their “lucky pants” to keep them concealed in order not to incur the wrath of the UEFA Pants Police. It’s really unfortunate to know that UEFA has given cheaper sanctions to teams involved in real offenses like racism.

Arseblog News in conjunction with Paddy Power of course, launched a competition with five pairs of Bendtner underpants up for grabs. All you have to do is to answer the question below:

Nicklas Bendtner is: a) The Greatest Astronaut That Ever Lived b) The Greatest Horsewhisperer That Ever Lived c) The Greatest Striker That Ever Lived or d) All of the above (which are to the side rather than above but you get what we mean).

Visit the site to answer the question and you could stand a chance of winning a pair of Bendtner underpants.

Moving on to more relevant news, Andrey Arshavin’s stint as the captain of Russia might be under jeopardy after openly stating that the elimination from Euro 2012 is not the players’ concern:

“The fact that we have not met your expectations is not our problem, It’s your problem. When I’m sitting in (Federal House) State Duma, I’ll be held accountable before you. 

We lost because we did not score and the Greeks did. These conversations will not change the result of the game.”

This certainly hasn’t gone down well in Russia, and former Russia Football Union Leader, who’s now FIFA’s Vice President, Vyacheslav Koloskov, has been the most vocal, declaring that Arshavin is “unfit” to be Russia’s captain after such comments.

Koloskov stated that Arshavin has never been in the same shoes as those who, at their own expense, travel long distances to support the team.

From a neutral perspective, those comments weren’t necessary from Russian football’s No. 1 citizen and we might probably expect an apology from him in the near future.

Enjoy the day’s break from Euro 2012.

The quarterfinals begin in earnest tomorrow.

Sayonara.

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More Injury Woes, 2012/13 Fixtures Out and Euro 2012 Roundup

What a shame!

Apologies for the lateness of today’s post.

I’ve had one hell of a day but I’m not going to bore you with the Chronicles of enigma106. I certainly won’t tell you that I had a scary dream where I saw Greedenko…Arjen Robbish…Robben supplying a through ball for van Persie in the 93rd minute but Arsenal’s Flying Dutchman shot the ball right at Huntelaar’s face instead of the goal. At that point in time, Holland was 2-1 up and they needed that goal to qualify but van Persie opted for Huntelaar’s nose instead of a gaping goal.

In the post-match interview, van Persie stated Huntelaar unveiled that Arsenal was linked with him and he was odds on to replace him at the Emirates, a bit of info van Persie didn’t take likely I guess.

Switching back to reality, it’s really awkward to know that two years ago, the Netherlands was 90 minutes away from winning the World Cup. Yesterday, a team that had a large chunk of that 2010 World Cup squad became the most under performing Dutch side since the days Attila ruled the Huns.

Bert van Marwijk had to go for broke against Portugal with a simple incentive; score two goals against Portugal, hope for the worst against Denmark and Bob’s your uncle.

The egotistical chums in the form of Rafael van der Fart and Klass-Jan Huntelaar were handed chances to prove why they didn’t deserve to be benched. The former proved his mettle with a sweetly curled effort that put his side on the driving seat, while the latter was as peripheral as a ghost in white surroundings.

I’m not going to bore you with a detailed match report because it certainly won’t change the fact that Holland’s defense was crappy in every sense of the word but I must say that Cristiano Ronaldo killed his demons to produce a stellar performance for his nation. The hair-gel master bagged himself a brace and clipped the post twice.

Shortly after the debacle, Robben has stated that unrest undermined his team’s campaign.

In my opinion, Van Marwijk got his tactics right in his first game against Denmark, but Lady Luck wasn’t on his side as his team kept spurning chances as they came. Up next, his team came up against a tactical astute and efficient German side that were clinical with their chances.

He buckled under some pressure to tweak his starting line-up to include what seemed like his best attacking side but people like Robbish…Robben continued his selfish play, much to the detriment of his team. Nigel de Jong was overrun in midfield, Wesley Sneijder was out of position and it’s fair to say that the van Persie-Huntelaar combo was utter shite.

Elsewhere, Your Royal Cockiness, Nicklas Bendtner, crashed out with his Danish teammates after their loss to Lukas Podolski’s Germany. However, Bendtner found himself in more hot soup as he was fined a whooping £80,000 by UEFA for showing off his Paddy Power pants after scoring against Portugal.

I’m the World’s Best….and I got me some Paddy Power!!!!!

To add to Bendtner’s misery, he was also banned for one international fixture by Europe’s football governing body.

Like Robin van Persie, Bendtner has a long summer to sort his future out with the club and we can only fold our arms and see the route the Great Dane is going to take. He’ll probably be below Lukas Podolski in the pecking order and the potential arrival of Olivier Giroud won’t certainly help his cause.

He had a great European Championships by his standards and I’m pretty sure that a few European predators out there will want a cocky beanpole forward that wears pink boots and shows off his undies when he scores. If he could show off his Danish butt for scoring a brace against Portugal, only the good Lord knows what he’ll do if he scores the match winner in a Champions League final.

Still sticking with news from Euro 2012, two Gunners are scheduled to have spells on the sidelines with their teams still active in the competition. Czech Republic’s captain and star player, Tomas Rosicky, has gone back to Prague to treat his Achilles tendon injury that has been a problem for him throughout the tournament.

Czech Republic’s manager, Michal Bilek, has declared that Rosicky is “irreplaceable” but the Czechs will have to make do without their captain, as they gear themselves up to take on Portugal in the quarterfinals.

Arsenal’s Usain Bolt, or Theo Walcott, as he’s known in this part of the world, is also doubtful to start England’s game against Ukraine. He quit a training session when he picked up a hamstring injury. A concerned Woy Hodgson had this to say:

“Unfortunately Theo had a slight setback in training, and that’s the major concern with him. He felt the hamstring that, of course, kept him out for so long at the end of last season and we were slightly concerned about that when he came to us. But we’ve been lucky that nothing occurred with that [since then].

We had to take the precaution of taking him from the field because he felt a slight tightness there.”

Walcott made a real difference when he came off the bench against Sweden to make a cameo appearance that paid dividends. He scored a lovely goal and provided the assist for a splendid Danny Welbeck finish.

England will take on co-hosts Ukraine while France will lock horns with Sweden. Both sides will want to take top spot to avoid a duel with defending champions, Spain, in the quarterfinals.

To wrap it all up, the Barclay’s Premier League fixtures for the 2o12/13 season are out. Arsenal raises its Premier League curtains with a home tie against Sunderland, a match that brings fond memories about Robin van Persie. Many will hope that he’ll be the one to lead the Gunners on August 18, but if he doesn’t, the world as we know it won’t come to an end.

After reviewing the fixtures, I’m a bit concerned about Arsenal’s run of matches in January 2014, as Arsene Wenger’s men take on Manchester City (H), Chelsea (A), Liverpool (H) and Stoke (H). There’ll also be a potential Capitol One semifinal as well as a FA Cup Fourth Round fixture as well.

Notwithstanding, it’s good to know that we’ll be bracing ourselves for another exciting Premier League campaign.

Apologies again for the lateness of today’s post.

Sayonara.

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Euro Gunner Watch: Reviewing the Round 2 Fixtures of the Group of Death

In the first round of fixtures of the Group of Death, jaws were dropped when Denmark pulled up a shock win over tournament favorites, Holland, but no eyebrows were raised when the efficient German Machines eased past Portugal.

Denmark and Portugal have had their fair share of battle as both sides locked horns during the qualifying campaign.

Portugal broke the deadlock through a Pepe header. Cristiano Ronaldo left his shooting boots in Spain and he showcased his profligacy in grand style. The Portuguese doubled their advantage when Helder Postiga latched unto a Nani cross to smash the roof of the net.

Christian Eriksen fired a shot from quite some distance but Rui Patricio was equal to the challenge. Nicklas Bendtner spread play to the right and after some intricate play, the ball was lofted to Michael Krohn-Delhi who flicked the ball to Bendtner that headed it home.

With 10 minutes left to play, Bendtner got on the end of another cross that went past the keeper to level the contest.

Right at the death, Fabio Coentrao made a slalom run on the left before drilling a cross that was miscued by Varela, but he got a second bite of the cherry to win the game for Portugal.

The sucker punch must have hurt Denmark but that’s football.

Euro Gunner Watch hands a rating of 8.5 to Nicklas Bendtner for his commanding performance against Portugal. He scored two well-taken headers and his distribution was top-notch.

Portugal’s win threw the group open and the Netherlands needed a win to make the final round of fixtures mouthwatering.

Veteran Mark van Bommel dinked a diagonal ball to Robin van Persie. The Dutch forward took the effort first time but it was easy pickings for Manuel Neuer.

Van Bommel almost gifted Mesut Ozil a chance but the maestro’s shot hit the post. Van Persie received a pass from Arjen Robben but his shot went wide.

Germany went ahead when Bastian Schweinsteiger found Mario Gomez with a nice through ball. The Bayern forward took the ball on the turn with an exquisite touch before applying a lovely finish that sent Maarten Sketelenberg the wrong way.

Germany almost doubled their lead when Holger Badstuber’s close-range header was saved by the goalie. However, Schweinsteiger and Gomez combined again to score Germany’s second goal with an emphatic finish.

Holland showed their positive attacking intent by bringing on Rafael van der Vaart and Klass-Jan Huntelaar at the start of the second half.

Mats Hummels waltzed forward from his defense and found himself on the clear but the goalie saved his efforts on goal.

Van Persie and Wesley Sneijder continued to pepper the German goal but Holland’s breakthrough arrived when van Persie turned superbly before firing a shot past Neuer with his chocolate leg.

Late on, van der Vaart tried a long-range effort but it missed by a lick of paint.

The loss puts Holland’s qualifying hopes on a very thin thread and they’ll have to win Portugal with two or more goals and hope for the Germans to do them a favor against Denmark.

Euro Gunner Watch gives a rating of 7.0 to Lukas Podolski and 7.5 to Robin van Persie.

That’s today’s lot.

Wishing all my fellow Batch B Youth Corps Members a happy Passing out Parade.

It was a year well spent.

Sayonara.

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